Funny Lyrics of a Horse Race
My wife and kids are leaving me because they say I'm obsessed with Horse Racing.
I'm looking out the window at them now........... and they're off.....
Simply met my friend on the street crying his optics out so I asked him what was wrong
He said "Today is the 2nd of the 2nd 2022 and I just turned 22 so I went to the bookies and put €222 on the second horse in the 2d race of the day.. Information technology was at 2.22!"
"That all sounds great" I said, "What went wrong"?
"He came 2d".
There was a human who was born on the fifth day of the 5th calendar month of 1955, whose lucky number was five.
There was a man who was built-in on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was v. On his birthday, he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o'clock) a horse named Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. Rushing off to the bank, the man was astonished to find he had $55,555.55 in his bank business relationship. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed dorsum to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. Pentagram, plain, came in 5th.
If I owned a race equus caballus, I would name it My Face
But to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY Confront!"
"...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"
-Credit goes to my mother
-
Lucky Numbers
There was this human by the name of Mr V.
His lucky number was, non surprisingly, v.
He was 55 years sometime, ate v times a day, ever brought with him $55 in his wallet and e'er wore a shirt with 5 pockets.
One day, he saw a horse past the name of Lucky Five was racing.
He bet $5555.55 on the horse.
After 5 hours the results are out.
Certain enough the equus caballus comes in fifth.
Number vii
Mark dreams number vii.
He wakes upward, looks at his watch: information technology was 7:07.
He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.
Decided it was a sign he's taking the double-decker 77.
Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.
The horse comes 7th.
My wife and daughter are leaving me because of my obsession with equus caballus racing...
"And they're off!"
A blonde and a brunette
decide to go to the movies together. The moving-picture show had a scene with a horse race in it. Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." The blonde says "OK, you're on!" The scene ends with the blackness horse barely winning, so the blonde pays upward. The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this motion-picture show last week." The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black equus caballus could possibly win a second time!"
My wife is leaving me considering of my obsession with horse racing
She'south at the gate... and she's off
Marylou
One solar day, equally a husband was reading the Sunday paper, his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" cried the husband.
"I was doing your laundry when I plant a slice of paper with the name of Marylou on it!" screamed the wife. "Who is she? Are you adulterous on me?"
"Dearest don't worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the married woman connected doing the laundry. A few hours later, the married woman smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
"What was that for?" said the annoyed married man.
"Your horse chosen."
A man wins a horse race
A homo won a horse race afterward the other horse dropped dead before reaching the finish line.
However, the winner had a hard time enjoying his victory, because information technology's no fun beating a dead horse!
You tin explore horse racing racer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and y'all will understand what jokes are funny? Those of yous who have teens can tell them make clean horse racing horse racing dad jokes. There are too horse racing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A new Zealand joke
Why exercise New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?
They saw what happened to the sheep
Lucky Number seven
I had a vivid dream of the number vii, just a giant 7... and when I woke up, it was 7:00... then I get upward and decide to go to the track, because I like to play the ponies.. and I get a cab, and the cab pulls up, and it's number 7... so I get to the track and I ask what I owe, and it was $7.77... I go in through gate 7 and the but berth open is the 7th. I await at the board and in the 7th race there'south a horse named Lucky Number seven and his odds are 77/i. So I put $700 on him... and believe it not... he came in seventh.
(Cr
If horse racing is the "sport of kings"
is drag racing the sport of queens?
Tom and Larry become to the movies
Tom and Larry become see a movie that features a horse race. Tom turns to Larry and says, "I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins." Larry responds, "No way. I'll take that bet whatever day." Unfortunately for Larry, the white horse won. After the flick, Tom says, "yous don't accept to pay me. I'd already seen this moving picture, and now I experience bad about making the bet." Larry, looking very confused, replies, "well, then had I, just I didn't think he could do it again."
Barry likes the number five.
He is the fifth kid in his family, lives on the fifth house on 5th Avenue, then much so that he sees 5 equally his lucky number.
1 twenty-four hour period he went to the races, and saw a horse named Number Five. He went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it'll win him big coin.
Information technology finished fifth.
I want to get a race horse, and proper name it My Face.
Just so I can hear people in the stands yell, Come on, My Face up!!
Iii racehorses were standing in a field.
One says, you know, I've won ten races in my life.
And I've won xx races! Brags the second horse.
The third horse is much older then them both. He says, That's nothing! I've won l races!
All of a sudden they all hear laughing, and they turn their heads to see a greyhound trotting through the field.
Amateurs! The canis familiaris laughs. I've been in a thousand races, and I've won all of them!
The horses are all shocked. As the dog strolls by them, they stare in silence. Then the quondam horse says, Holy shit! a talking canis familiaris!
My favorite gambling event is equus caballus racing, merely I'k bad at information technology.
No matter how hard I try, the horses are just manner faster.
I lost all my money betting on horse races.
Turns out they can run WAY faster than I can.
Pregnant horses would be splendid in a race
They have twice the horsepower
At the race track and saw a 100-1 horse win a race.
I couldn't believe it, what are the odds of that.
Equus caballus race
A man has a racehorse who never won a race.
Man in cloy says," Horse, you win today or you pull a milk carriage tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE Yous SLEEPING"
The equus caballus, half asleep says, "I have to become up at three in the morning time."
Race Horse Joke/tongue twister
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one also.
I-1 won one race.
2-ii won one likewise.
A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to commencement.
Once it started, the jockey couldn't control it as information technology veered off rails. And then the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldn't get off his high equus caballus..
I tried equus caballus racing once, but I fell at the first contend.
I might have done amend if I had a equus caballus
Two farmers were betting on a horse race.
They put up some of their grain crops for the gamble. One of the farmers is better at math and so kept a tally. At the stop of the day, the other farmer asked the starting time i if overall they had won or lost anything. The other one responded: "nosotros lost, but merely barley."
one 1 was a race horse
two 2 was 1 two
1 1 ane 1 race
2 2 1 ane 2
I was absolutely devastated when my horse died.
I had a lot of money riding on that race.
How did the ocean horse win the race?
He scalloped.
My Dad'southward favorite sports are horse racing, bike racing, and women...
... basically annihilation where you can put a leg over something and ride it.
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it
Married man: I took part in a race final week
and Jenny was the proper name of my horse.
Married woman: Sorry..!
Adjacent 24-hour interval married woman hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
A guy bought a horse and named him 'My Confront'.
He trained this horse and entered him into races.
When asked why he called it 'my face' he replied,
And so when the girls are cheering on the horses they are screaming "Come on My face up come on my face up"
The racehorse owner was bellyaching with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the equus caballus."
[NSFW] I have bought a race horse called ......
my face!
I dont care if it wins or loses, or fifty-fifty costs me a fortune, I just desire the pleasure of going to the races and hearing hundreds of posh females shouting 'come on my face up!'
carson-coolingabouldis1976.blogspot.com
Source: https://jokojokes.com/horse-racing-jokes.html